Difference Between Easy and Simple

By Mike Glenn

As a person who makes a living with words, I become frustrated when people misuse words. For instance, people constantly confuse the words “anxious” and “eager.” Anxious means we foresee a bad outcome. Eager means we are looking forward to a happy outcome. People use “anxious” when they really mean eager. We might hear a young bride-to-be say, “My wedding is next week and I’m so anxious. I can’t wait!” 

We hope she doesn’t foresee a bad outcome of the wedding and if she did, why was she so excited for her wedding day to get here? Let’s pray she was “eager” for her wedding day to arrive. If she is indeed “anxious,” maybe she should rethink the whole endeavor. 

The same confusion happens with the words “easy” and “simple.” Easy means without effort. Simple means without complication. Some things may be easy, but very complicated. For instance, we flip on a light switch and our house has light. Flipping the light switch is easy, but the technology behind lighting the house is actually quite complicated. 

On the other hand, some things may be simple, but extremely hard to accomplish. Asking the girl in your biology class out for a date is simple. All you have to do is ask. Yet, as any young man can tell you, asking for that first date is one of the hardest things in the world to do. Simple and easy do not mean the same things.

The reason I’m going on and on about these words is because they’re the words that have kept coming to mind as I have researched why so many people have been leaving the church lately. We’ve been watching this phenomenon long enough to begin to see certain trends and patterns. One study is The Great Dechurching: Who’s Leaving, Why Are They Going, and What Will It Take to Bring Them Back by Jim David, Michael Graham, and Ryan P. Burge. According to their studies, there are a lot of reasons why people drop out. The quarantine changed people’s habits. People were frustrated by the political polarization of their congregation and stopped attending. Others were frustrated by a failure of the congregation during a personal crisis such as a death in the family. 

While every story is different, I was struck by how often the researchers said that most people would return if they, first, found new friends in the church and second, if someone would simply ask them to attend. 

That sounds easy. After all, all you have to do is ask. Yet, we know, it’s not easy. Every person who has left the church has their own story and their own reasons. If they are going to come back, someone is going to have to listen to their story. Someone is going to have to understand their story. This takes time. This takes patience. It takes a genuine concern for the well-being of the other. In short, it takes a friend. 

This brings us to a particularly uneasy stalemate. We seem to be caught between experiencing an epidemic of loneliness in our culture while being so busy trying to meet the various demands of our lives that we don't have time to keep the friends we have, much less make new ones. Having time to meet someone for coffee or lunch, play a round of golf, or even work out together are luxuries no one has.

Now, remember. Simple means without complication. Making new friends is simple. Most of us have been making friends since we were children. Yes, people are complicated and sometimes being a friend is challenging and difficult, but that doesn’t change the reality that most of us know how to make friends. 

But it won’t be easy. Some of us are going to have to take a very hard inventory of our lives to see if all the things that are crowding our lives are necessary. We all know of things that, well, don’t add any quality moments to our lives. Stop doing them. Create some space in your life for new relationships. Create a little time for friendships to happen. 

No, it won’t be easy. It will require a little effort. OK, it will take a lot of effort. Most things that are worth doing require effort. This shouldn’t surprise us. What should surprise us is how simple it would be to turn the dechurching of America around. 

None of us has to bring everyone back, but there’s probably one or two friends who haven’t been to church in a while. Give them a call. Meet them for lunch and coffee. Ask them how things are going. Then, listen. (Most of us don’t really listen. Most of us simply wait to talk.) 

And keep on listening until the moment is right to ask them to come to church with you. If they do, great. If they don’t, keep being their friend. Some harvests take longer than others. Don’t give up. Don’t walk away. Hang in there. Remember, your love and friendship are filling in a pretty large hole in their lives. It may take a while. 

Once again, it’s pretty simple, but it’s not easy. It will require some effort. OK, it will require a lot of effort and time. Then again, Jesus never promised it would be easy.