My Dad Wasn't Normal (Mike Glenn)

(Is anyone's?)

By Mike Glenn

One Tuesday night, during a young adult worship service I was leading, I put a phone in the middle of the congregation so we could sing Happy Birthday to my father. I had set it up with my Mom and we got Dad on the phone. After some small talk beginning the conversation, we sang to my dad and then, I tried to say good-bye and get back to the service.

Photo by Caroline Hernandez on Unsplash

Typical of my dad, he wouldn't let me hang up until I told him when I was going to see him next. After that, he told me he loved me and once more, insisted I come and see him soon. I told him Ioved him too and I would call him later. I didn't think anything about it. That was the way every conversation with my father ended. We called it the "two hour goodbye." To leave my parent's house, I had to plan my leaving two hours before I actually wanted to leave. My dad would say good-bye in the den, then in the kitchen, then in the front hall way, the front porch and then, reach trough the window of my car before I drove away.

That was just normal for my dad. I didn't think anything about it. I thought everyone had a dad like mine. I was wrong. I discovered that when the young men attending that night lined up to tell me they would give anything to hear their father say they loved them.

When you grow up with your parents, you think they're normal and for many years, I thought my dad was normal. He went to work in the morning and came home at night. He took us to church on Sunday and checked our school work. Only later did I fully begin to understand the remarkable man who was my father.

One night, sitting at my kitchen table, my dad begin to tell me stories about his life I had never heard. He told me about the Christmas morning when his father died. He told me about the morning a few years later when his mom abandoned him and his little brother. Dad told me about meeting my mom and being so poor they had to put his wedding band on lay away. He told me about joining the Air Force and being trained on the radar system for Hawk missile system. He told me about starting a television and appliance store where he risked everything for a piece of the American dream. My dad was always afraid of his family being hungry.

Things began to make sense to me. My father was always driven. I later learned it had fallen to him to break the poverty cycle in our family. If my father had not taken the risks he did, if he hadn't work two jobs all my life -- and three for most of it -- my life would have been radically different. I will always be grateful for what my father did for me.

Most importantly, my dad taught me to love Scripture. He taught Sunday School for over 40 years. The last Sunday School class he taught was had a larger attendance than the worship service at their little church. My favorite memory of him is him sitting in his chair, Bible opened in his lap, the Sunday School quarterly in his right hand and a pen in his left. Whenever he would find something exciting, he would find my brother and I and tell us with great excitement about what he was learning. "Boys, look at this," he would say.

This past Sunday was Father's Day and I spent a lot of that day thinking about my dad. He died in 2012 and everyday, I wish I could talk to him. I wish I could tell him what's going on in my life. I wish I could try to get off the phone with him. My dad wasn't normal and it took me too long to figure that out.

The other thing I thought about is what kind of father I am to my sons. Do they know how much I love them? Do they know how proud I am? Have a taught them to love Scripture? Are they telling their friends their dad "isn't normal?" I hope so.

In Ephesians 6, Paul tells fathers not to frustrate their children. I was perplexed by Paul's teaching. To me, Paul was setting a very low bar for fathers. To be a good father, Paul seemed to say, all you have to do is not aggravate your children. Later, I figured out what he was talking about. I've met more and more people whose fathers were such disappointments, their failures made it hard for their children to believe in God. That's when I got it. Paul is telling fathers don't make it hard for your children to believe in God.

My father made it easy for me to believe in God. I will always be grateful for that. I pray my life hasn't made it hard for my sons to believe. This Father's Day I was grateful for my dad and for all those dads who don't make it hard for their children to believe.