Sometimes, We Just Need to be Sick

By Mike Glenn

Every year sometime in September or October, I get sick. Seasons change, leaves fall and I get sick. I'm to the point where I write it on my calendar every year. I'll just pick a random four or five days on the calendar and write across the page, "Plan to be sick." My suffering begins with my allergies (ragweed is murder in the Cumberland River Valley) which becomes a sinus infection, which becomes bronchitis if not pneumonia. My nose clogs up. I can't breathe. I start coughing all the time and then, I can't sleep. Then, my wife will move me to the guest room until I stop coughing throughout the night. This happens every year.

To make matters worse, I'm not a good patient. I don't like being sick. Most days, even when I don't feel well, I get up and get busy with things I feel like I must do. Most of the time, I end up working against myself. I actually prolong my sickness. According to my wife, a nurse, if I just laid down and rested, I'd get over my sickness and feel better faster. She tells me I just end up making everything worse when I ignore my symptoms. "Why don't you just go to bed and be sick like everyone else?" 

Please don't tell her this, but I think my wife is right. Somedays, we just need to be sick. Somedays, the best thing we can do is give into our sickness, go home and feel bad until we feel better. There are times when we don't need to fight life, we just need to endure it. 

This wisdom doesn't just go for sinus infections. There are a lot of times when life overwhelms us. Grief stacks upon grief. Disappointment piles up and sadness starts out as a little stream of pain and becomes a river of tears. In our individualistic world, we are told to lean into the pain. We're told to bear up under it and get back to our lives. Go to work. Get back to the gym. If anyone asks how you are, just say fine and keep walking. 

But there are times when we just need to go to bed and be sick. Our bodies need rest. Our bodies need time to fight the infections. We need time to be sick. This is a lesson we all need to learn. Life isn't kind. Sometimes it hurts.  Too many of us just try to push through and just keep going, but in ignoring the pain, we just make things worse. 

Pain is the body's way of telling us something needs attention. Sooner or later, life gets us all. Grief comes unbidden. Sadness blocks the light from our lives like the growing clouds of a coming storm. If you live long enough, you're going to lose something or someone you love. This loss will bring grief. Grief takes its own time. It can't be rushed or avoided. You can push it down but doing that only makes things worse. This usually leads to a deeper grief and depression.  Left untended, our grief can freeze us inside. Grief won't be ignored. Sometimes, we just need to stay in bed and feel our sadness. Ignoring it only makes it worse. 

All of us foul up. All of us make mistakes and the first thing we want to do is to get as far away from our failure as possible. We try to forget it. We don't want to talk about it. Because we ignore it, we never learn the lessons of our failure. Then, we repeat them. The cycle never gets broken because no one wants to sit with their mess. Because we don't give our failure time to teach us, we end up staying sick. 

Sometimes, we just need to be sick. We need to feel guilty. We need to sit with our fatigue. The body takes its own time and healing can't be hurried. So, give yourself permission to be sick. Stop fighting your grief or sadness and give yourself time to feel bad. Write in your journal. Sit in solitude and prayer. Let grief teach you. Let your failure instruct you. Redeem the time. Don't be afraid. Remember we don't walk through these valleys alone. In the presence of Christ, even the darkest moments can be grace filled. 

Grief can teach us gratitude.

Illness reminds us of our limitations.

Sadness helps us deal with the brokenness of the world. 

This takes a little time. This takes a little work. 

Give yourself the time you need. Sometimes, it's in these dark moments when we learn life's most valuable lessons.