The Wonder of Vulnerability (Kelly Edmiston)

By Kelly Edmiston

When was the last time you were truly vulnerable with another person?

Your therapist? Your Spiritual Director? Your spouse or your friend?

Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as showing up to your life without any guarantees.

Vulnerability is being rigorously honest with those around you, through your actions and your words, about who you are and what you need. Vulnerability is the willingness to be seen for who we are, not who we want to be.

Photo by Isaac Quesada on Unsplash

If you are like most American Christians, vulnerability is hard for you. But regardless of how you feel about vulnerability how quickly you can access it, or who you have in your life whom you can be vulnerable with, vulnerability is inevitable.

To be human is to be vulnerable.

The problem is that we have all had situations in our lives where we have been vulnerable and we got hurt. You gave it your all, you took a big risk, you did something brave, you were really honest and you were betrayed. Maybe even, you were destroyed.

In your parenting, you gave your kids all you had and they still made those terrible choices. In your marriage, you asked for what you needed and your partner failed you. In your work life, you went for that promotion and someone else got it. You tried that new thing and you failed. You reached out and asked for help from friends and they didn’t come. You said I love you first and they didn’t say it back.

We have all had this experience. Vulnerability is inevitable and yet we know that we will likely be hurt.

Advent is a period on the church calendar where Christians honor the waiting period before Christ is born.

It is a season of wonder. Wonder is an interesting thing. Scot Erickson says that wonder is “the moment when all of our narratives and stories about life disappear in the rapturous experience of actually being here.” He says that wonder is “being present with the glorious now.”

A moment of Wonder is the moment when you are speechless, overwhelmed, and caught up in a mystery. In a moment of wonder, you momentarily develop a singular focus, and everything else stops.

I want you to bring to mind the last time you experienced wonder. Don’t you long for a life of wonder and mystery and surprise and joy?

Advent invites us to wonder, to stand in awe of a God who didn’t show up on earth as a full-grown human. God entered the inevitability of vulnerability when God became human.

Luke 1:26-33

When Elizabeth was six months pregnant, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a city in Galilee, to a virgin who was engaged to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David’s house. The virgin’s name was Mary. When the angel came to her, he said, “Rejoice, favored one! The Lord is with you!”  She was confused by these words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be.  The angel said, “Don’t be afraid, Mary. God is honoring you. Look! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great and he will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of David his father. He will rule over Jacob’s house forever, and there will be no end to his kingdom.”

God was conceived by the Holy Spirit. God entered the womb of a young woman. God became an embryo. Then, God became a fetus. God was sustained by amniotic fluid. God was given nutrients through an umbilical cord. God was pushed through a birth canal. God came into the world through the body, the blood, sweat, and tears of a virgin outcast girl.

The wonder of Advent is the vulnerability of God.

Here is the really interesting connection between wonder and vulnerability. There is no wonder without vulnerability.

Jesus enters the world in the most vulnerable way. Jesus goes on to live his life entering the stories of people at the moment of their greatest vulnerability. Consider the demon-possessed man, the bleeding woman, and Zacchaeus. Throughout the gospels, people meet Jesus at their most vulnerable moment and Jesus changes their lives.

God became vulnerable in Jesus so that when you face the inevitability of vulnerability in your own life you can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God meets you there, in that precise place.

I want to invite you to say “yes” to vulnerability in this Advent season. Find a safe friend, a pastor, a spiritual director, or a family member to share who are and what you need. Stay present to the glorious now and stand in awe of the vulnerability of God.

Open your heart to the Holy Spirit in this season and let God into the places where you have been hiding, powering through on your own, or too distracted to stop and listen. 

As you embrace a willingness to be vulnerable with God and others, your capacity for wonder will expand and grow. As you meet Jesus in this Advent season, I pray that He will transform you, your marriage, your family, and your community.