What are the marks of spiritual abuse? Recall that spiritual abuse is a species of power abuse, so it is about abusing the power one has over another person. It become spiritual when the asymmetry of power includes a person with spiritual power over another person.
Neglect really is an important (and neglected) aspect of spiritual abuse (and abuse in general). The Westminster Larger Catechism lists Ezekiel 34:2-4 as the proof text for the sin of neglect by those in positions of authority (“superiors”). The whole answer to question 130 is relevant to this discussion:
Question 130. What are the sins of superiors?
A. The sins of superiors are, besides the neglect of the duties required of them, an inordinate seeking of themselves, their own glory, ease, profit, or pleasure; commanding things unlawful, or not in the power of inferiors to perform; counseling, encouraging, or favoring them in that which is evil; dissuading, discouraging, or discountenancing them in that which is good; correcting them unduly; careless exposing, or leaving them to wrong, temptation, and danger; provoking them to wrath; or anyway dishonoring themselves, or lessening their authority, by an unjust, indiscreet, rigorous, or remiss behavior.
A long time ago (mid-1990s) I served as dean of a tiny seminary with an extraordinary core faculty ("core" meaning one each in Old Testament, New Testament, and Theology). Each of these men had all the requisite graduate degrees and could have intimidated students with ease. BUT what was at the core of each of those them was a wonderful humility as they came alongside students. I learned so much as I watched students grow in that environment. I KNOW it's possible to "lead" from the side and not necessarily from "the top." What was true there CAN be true in churches, but I suspect that it takes a humility before God if that is to happen.
Sadly, I’ve been exposed to – sometimes hurt by, or marginalized by – these types of leaders (and followers), both in the church AND in Christian organizations. I think the comment above is a poignant one. It really does seem to depend on the posture of said leaders. Are they humble? Are they servants? Are they other-focused? I.e., to what extent is their character confirmed to Christ?
This excerpt was particularly striking in that regard:
“...the people are scattered and become vulnerable and are ravaged. They are ravaged by selfish behaviors and violent actions... Amy White asks the right question: ‘Who is benefiting from the exercise of power?’(in italics in original).”
It seems to me that kingdom leadership is centered upon love, which is necessarily focused on the good of others, and their benefit. I think of the team I lead. My role is to serve them in order that they thrive. To equip and empower them to use their gifts and abilities to accomplish our shared goals. And truly to encourage and foster their development into all God made them to be. At some level, that requires me sacrificing “my glory” for their good. I.e., my choosing humility. Servanthood. Christ.
To take that posture, I must take on the mind of Christ outlined in Philippians 2:5-11. I must choose God’s glory over my own. I must take the form of a servant. I must lay down my rights, or my glory, for the greater good of the kingdom. And to do so, I must know and trust (and thereby love and serve) the Father, as Jesus did.
It strikes me that THAT must be at the heart of anything we’d call Christian leadership (or followership).
Neglect really is an important (and neglected) aspect of spiritual abuse (and abuse in general). The Westminster Larger Catechism lists Ezekiel 34:2-4 as the proof text for the sin of neglect by those in positions of authority (“superiors”). The whole answer to question 130 is relevant to this discussion:
Question 130. What are the sins of superiors?
A. The sins of superiors are, besides the neglect of the duties required of them, an inordinate seeking of themselves, their own glory, ease, profit, or pleasure; commanding things unlawful, or not in the power of inferiors to perform; counseling, encouraging, or favoring them in that which is evil; dissuading, discouraging, or discountenancing them in that which is good; correcting them unduly; careless exposing, or leaving them to wrong, temptation, and danger; provoking them to wrath; or anyway dishonoring themselves, or lessening their authority, by an unjust, indiscreet, rigorous, or remiss behavior.
A long time ago (mid-1990s) I served as dean of a tiny seminary with an extraordinary core faculty ("core" meaning one each in Old Testament, New Testament, and Theology). Each of these men had all the requisite graduate degrees and could have intimidated students with ease. BUT what was at the core of each of those them was a wonderful humility as they came alongside students. I learned so much as I watched students grow in that environment. I KNOW it's possible to "lead" from the side and not necessarily from "the top." What was true there CAN be true in churches, but I suspect that it takes a humility before God if that is to happen.
Sadly, I’ve been exposed to – sometimes hurt by, or marginalized by – these types of leaders (and followers), both in the church AND in Christian organizations. I think the comment above is a poignant one. It really does seem to depend on the posture of said leaders. Are they humble? Are they servants? Are they other-focused? I.e., to what extent is their character confirmed to Christ?
This excerpt was particularly striking in that regard:
“...the people are scattered and become vulnerable and are ravaged. They are ravaged by selfish behaviors and violent actions... Amy White asks the right question: ‘Who is benefiting from the exercise of power?’(in italics in original).”
It seems to me that kingdom leadership is centered upon love, which is necessarily focused on the good of others, and their benefit. I think of the team I lead. My role is to serve them in order that they thrive. To equip and empower them to use their gifts and abilities to accomplish our shared goals. And truly to encourage and foster their development into all God made them to be. At some level, that requires me sacrificing “my glory” for their good. I.e., my choosing humility. Servanthood. Christ.
To take that posture, I must take on the mind of Christ outlined in Philippians 2:5-11. I must choose God’s glory over my own. I must take the form of a servant. I must lay down my rights, or my glory, for the greater good of the kingdom. And to do so, I must know and trust (and thereby love and serve) the Father, as Jesus did.
It strikes me that THAT must be at the heart of anything we’d call Christian leadership (or followership).