8 Comments

My husband I and have experienced some rather funny happenings in genderblind spaces. When in conversations with male pastors, they often ask me not about me but about my husband. They wish to know what he is doing and how he is. I find that so strange as if asking me how I am and what I am doing is somehow too intimate. It's weird. I once met a woman in leadership who wondered about my husband's masculinity due to the fact that he had a wife who was a pastor. Once we visited a church when the male greeter apologized to my husband for the fact they had a woman lead pastor. He shared with him how weird it was and then elbowed him--implying that it was somehow sexually tempting to have a woman pastor. Upon entering the service, we noted that the woman pastor was very mid-life in age, wore a lose fitting dress. (hardly an obstacle) This same greeter, then cornered my husband after the service again elbowing him with a wink, wink, about how he felt about a woman pastor. We didn't know whether to laugh or cry--we just laughed because the whole situation was so funny. We did feel for the pastor who probably did not know that her greeter was undermining her ministry.

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Very insightful, Faith, and I thank you for your good-spiritedness in these descriptions.

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Excellent!!!! May our hearts break for all who are treated less than God has commanded us to treat each other.

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I've never set foot on Asbury seminary, but I have set foot on SBTS campus (my Dad graduated from there, as things were starting to turn in the early '80's.) I will say that having been in complimentarian spaces and having been a woman pastor in what turned out to be a faux egalitarian space, the theology matters way less than how women are respected and given opportunities to use our gifts. It's a man's world in both places, but sponsoring women, championing women, centering women and changing systems for women need to be the constant swimming against the tide whose onus is often unfairly put on women, who are exhausted (with a second shift and gender pay gap to boot.) Thank you, Scot, for going against the tide with us. This quote resonates: "Most men fail 'to recognize the cultural patterns and economic structures that fast-tracked their own careers while holding women – perhaps even their own wives – back.'” Opening our eyes and listening to women is where it starts.

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Thank you Lori -- we're with you.

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Thank you. I have truly felt your support.

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Wow! I cannot wait to read this. As a woman married to a pastor and pursuing a call to ordained ministry myself, I have experienced a good bit of what you described. Spiritually, the challenges have forced my own reckoning to who God is and my identity as he forms and shapes me to his purposes despite the obstacles. The challenges for both of us in ministry together are honing our character and vision for the Gospel and how the Lord works that out in each of us as we engage others and love others. But the obstacles are wearying as well…knocking doors down down leaves you wounded and vulnerable and for some women in ministry that I know, it has nearly shut their ministries down.

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Thank you

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