Disclaimer: I’ve lived in the south my whole life within a southern bubble of American Christianity (30+ yrs in a Pentecostal denomination and 10 yrs in a non-denominational community church). What I write below is based on my lived experience. I still very much consider myself a Christian but have not attended church in 18 months.
Disclaimer: I’ve lived in the south my whole life within a southern bubble of American Christianity (30+ yrs in a Pentecostal denomination and 10 yrs in a non-denominational community church). What I write below is based on my lived experience. I still very much consider myself a Christian but have not attended church in 18 months.
Deconstruction is such a broad term and can mean so many things that I am becoming turned off by the word, but I haven’t found a better one yet.
The short of it for me personally - where I live “going to church” is often what identifies a person as a Christ follower, and it’s become a sort of club without a lot of depth. The focus is on serving the congregation and attending to what happens within the four walls of the church, not outside of it. Over time, I became extremely uncomfortable with how the idea of personal responsibility (a ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ mentality) was not only intertwined with the gospel and Jesus, it overshadowed it.
My husband and I had close, personal relationships in our previous church, but once we asked a few questions, pushed back mildly in areas we had concerns, and our oldest teen stepped just outside the church’s boundaries of being a “good kid,” those friends began distancing themselves from us and it all started unraveling. Decades of church hurts and abuses of power was just too much. Simply, our church experience did not look like Jesus.
I’ve been a Christian most of my life, and I love Jesus, but I’ve learned more about theology and scripture in the past year and a half than in the 40+ years prior. I’ve discovered my level of Biblical literacy was/is significantly lacking. I had unknowingly built a faith from generally accepting what I had been taught by pastors, wrapped in a lot of cherry picked verses. I think what is deemed ‘Christian’ frequently in the U.S. has its deepest roots in culture, politics and what is most comfortable. I am looking for something more, much more. Authenticity would be a nice start. The Church leading from a posture of ‘Love God and love your neighbor’ would be even better.
Wow! This is so similar to my experience. My stepdaughter went through this separation from people in youth group because of her struggles with drug addiction. We had spent 10 years in that church when we were going through this trial and there was no support. And the church had not equipped me spiritually to handle the suffering that went along with it, so I questioned my faith and started asking big questions, especially those beliefs about eternal conscious torment. It was such an empty feeling, and I eventually regressed to old habits.
BUT, I have been fortunate to have found a new church in my community that nurtures spiritual formation. Incidentally the pastor and his brother (who leads worship) went to Duke Divinity school (not southeastern seminary like my former pastor) and they have a deeper knowledge of the faith. The worship pastor and his wife read Thomas Merton and other authors that I had never heard of that focus on contemplative practices rather than contemporary surface knowledge of the bible coupled with a big (and labor intensive) experience. My husband and I both started to unravel our beliefs when the seeker-friendly, image-management model proved hurtful to the community, but we found an alternative. Incidentally this is a deacon-led church where power isn't centered on one person. They have a bivocational model of leadership. The structure is aligned with a more biblical way of supporting the immediate community. And the gospel they share isn't centered on a social construction of faith. It's not perfect by any means, but the pastor does listen to concerns of church members, rather than giving superficial answers.
It is both encouraging and heartbreaking to hear the "right" way to be the church from Scot in his writing and podcasts. His teaching on the kingdom and the church's role in relation to King Jesus troubles me, because it feels so rare. I think many people are looking around and they are not seeing this in their communities. They want a king, but they aren't finding that kingdom. I am hoping for transformation of the church into a kingdom people in my lifetime, but I am doubtful. Deconstruction just feels like a state of being lost, without a king, with no access to the kingdom. Jesus does teach that the kingdom is near, but it takes a big leap into faith to see this when so many fake kings are the loudest voices in the room. But, I am learning about the bible, and am trying to feed that joy with good books and my own bible reading and writing rather than focusing on those voices. I started a blog so I can be a voice to counter the fake. I don't have a lot of subscribers but the ones who do read my blog always thank me for being real. Jesus is concerned about those individuals and I don't really think he cares about popularity, so I feel affirmed.
Disclaimer: I’ve lived in the south my whole life within a southern bubble of American Christianity (30+ yrs in a Pentecostal denomination and 10 yrs in a non-denominational community church). What I write below is based on my lived experience. I still very much consider myself a Christian but have not attended church in 18 months.
Deconstruction is such a broad term and can mean so many things that I am becoming turned off by the word, but I haven’t found a better one yet.
The short of it for me personally - where I live “going to church” is often what identifies a person as a Christ follower, and it’s become a sort of club without a lot of depth. The focus is on serving the congregation and attending to what happens within the four walls of the church, not outside of it. Over time, I became extremely uncomfortable with how the idea of personal responsibility (a ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ mentality) was not only intertwined with the gospel and Jesus, it overshadowed it.
My husband and I had close, personal relationships in our previous church, but once we asked a few questions, pushed back mildly in areas we had concerns, and our oldest teen stepped just outside the church’s boundaries of being a “good kid,” those friends began distancing themselves from us and it all started unraveling. Decades of church hurts and abuses of power was just too much. Simply, our church experience did not look like Jesus.
I’ve been a Christian most of my life, and I love Jesus, but I’ve learned more about theology and scripture in the past year and a half than in the 40+ years prior. I’ve discovered my level of Biblical literacy was/is significantly lacking. I had unknowingly built a faith from generally accepting what I had been taught by pastors, wrapped in a lot of cherry picked verses. I think what is deemed ‘Christian’ frequently in the U.S. has its deepest roots in culture, politics and what is most comfortable. I am looking for something more, much more. Authenticity would be a nice start. The Church leading from a posture of ‘Love God and love your neighbor’ would be even better.
Wow! This is so similar to my experience. My stepdaughter went through this separation from people in youth group because of her struggles with drug addiction. We had spent 10 years in that church when we were going through this trial and there was no support. And the church had not equipped me spiritually to handle the suffering that went along with it, so I questioned my faith and started asking big questions, especially those beliefs about eternal conscious torment. It was such an empty feeling, and I eventually regressed to old habits.
BUT, I have been fortunate to have found a new church in my community that nurtures spiritual formation. Incidentally the pastor and his brother (who leads worship) went to Duke Divinity school (not southeastern seminary like my former pastor) and they have a deeper knowledge of the faith. The worship pastor and his wife read Thomas Merton and other authors that I had never heard of that focus on contemplative practices rather than contemporary surface knowledge of the bible coupled with a big (and labor intensive) experience. My husband and I both started to unravel our beliefs when the seeker-friendly, image-management model proved hurtful to the community, but we found an alternative. Incidentally this is a deacon-led church where power isn't centered on one person. They have a bivocational model of leadership. The structure is aligned with a more biblical way of supporting the immediate community. And the gospel they share isn't centered on a social construction of faith. It's not perfect by any means, but the pastor does listen to concerns of church members, rather than giving superficial answers.
It is both encouraging and heartbreaking to hear the "right" way to be the church from Scot in his writing and podcasts. His teaching on the kingdom and the church's role in relation to King Jesus troubles me, because it feels so rare. I think many people are looking around and they are not seeing this in their communities. They want a king, but they aren't finding that kingdom. I am hoping for transformation of the church into a kingdom people in my lifetime, but I am doubtful. Deconstruction just feels like a state of being lost, without a king, with no access to the kingdom. Jesus does teach that the kingdom is near, but it takes a big leap into faith to see this when so many fake kings are the loudest voices in the room. But, I am learning about the bible, and am trying to feed that joy with good books and my own bible reading and writing rather than focusing on those voices. I started a blog so I can be a voice to counter the fake. I don't have a lot of subscribers but the ones who do read my blog always thank me for being real. Jesus is concerned about those individuals and I don't really think he cares about popularity, so I feel affirmed.
Thanks for this Lindsey.
You're welcome! I am waiting on my copy of King Jesus Gospel from amazon.com and can't wait to read it and loan it out once I am done.