I have had experience with spiritual abusing and power abusing pastors. There is nowhere to go but out the door when it is the Sr. Pastor and Executive Pastor…. A couple years after I left and now they are on Administrative Leave while a separate firm investigates other allegations than me cause I didn’t go to the board, cause I thought the board would side with them….. I have been thinking about this very thing since yesterday when I found out, because all of a sudden I had the thought pop in my head to go to their website, and I did… Do I want to go more public than what I wrote on my website if they don’t end up leaving the church?
Diane Langberg has said many times that one must be ready before one goes public or goes to the board. We are very glad to hear that an independent (?) firm is investigating, and if they do their work they may be contacting you. If you want this to be more private, you are welcome to email me.
Thank you. They have engaged The Center Consulting Group and I think the leaders of the church are already aware of my claims against them as I have posted on my Twitter and I still have several leaders from there who still follow me. The wording of the many “press releases” also lead me to believe the board is now aware of my claims also. I think they lost their right to privacy when they committed spiritual abuse and leadership abuse and just plain power abuse. I am praying what God wants me to do, cause when usually something pops into my mind for no reason it is God prompting me…. I am questioning Him if this is His way of acting on my and others behalf or if He wants me to act further. My gut tells me the Sr Pastor is gone and they are trying to figure out how to deal with it without further damage to their church, but I could be wrong…. My email is conniegould12@gmail.com if you anything further to advise me on….
Hi Connie, I may already follow you on Twitter but if I don't, I would like to. My handke is @lindseycalv if you could follow me, I will follow back, or message me. I am a survivor and have found it healing to read others' stories and to share mine.
I don't think it is a coincidence that you were inspired to click on their website and learned about the investigation. I hope you have a new, safe community now. Even if it's just 2 or 3 people.
Thank you for reaching out. I truly believe the thought entering my head out of the thin air was God telling me to check their website. I have had enough of these God things to recognize it as Him. I think He wants to heal me and you and everyone else who has experienced any kind of abuse from a pastor or church and to separate that from Jesus, as that is not from Jesus. Father, will you heal everyone who has experienced church or pastor abuse, please, so we can burn our lights more brightly for You!
Amen, my sister! I wasn't abused in the church but there is a shared experience of betrayal among all survivors. I just recently learned that our bodies betrayed us. This is scientific, yet so familiar. I am just glad these authors and psychiatrists have named this reaction. I am writing a blog article about it. If you are on twitter, I'll share it there when I am done. Can you share your handle with me?
As a wounded resistor and former pastor, I appreciate this call to all of us toward compassion. So many have been left beaten by the side of the road while church staff walk by so busy on their way to mega church services.
"We are called to follow Jesus into care for survivors and to being survivor-sensitive communities of faith that provide safety and healing for survivors." Thank you!
That compassion should lead to action is true enough, but that it must lead to action assumes that appropriate action is available. Too many people take action to relieve their anxiety and do the wrong thing. Often, as my wife knows well (she has counseled a rather large number of abuse survivors as her book Pause, Pray and Play indicates), the only action one can appropriately take is empathic listening. One further note: the Samaritan was not just Temple taboo, but a religious and political enemy, not personally, but as part of a people. And that despite using basically the same Torah. He is the last person Jews would have expected a compassionate response from and the last to whom they would have showed such a response.
I see you. I hear you. You matter. I believe you. These words would have made a tremendous difference to me from my church. I believe many churches need training on how to show compassion. You are right, many do the wrong things that just bring further pain to survivors of abuse. As someone who was an active member of churches for over 20 years, I didn't understand what compassion really was until I desperately needed it. If we truly want to be the hands and feet of Jesus, we need to be willing to learn by listening to what those of us who have suffered are saying about what our needs are, rather than trying to prescribe what we think they need.
I have had experience with spiritual abusing and power abusing pastors. There is nowhere to go but out the door when it is the Sr. Pastor and Executive Pastor…. A couple years after I left and now they are on Administrative Leave while a separate firm investigates other allegations than me cause I didn’t go to the board, cause I thought the board would side with them….. I have been thinking about this very thing since yesterday when I found out, because all of a sudden I had the thought pop in my head to go to their website, and I did… Do I want to go more public than what I wrote on my website if they don’t end up leaving the church?
Diane Langberg has said many times that one must be ready before one goes public or goes to the board. We are very glad to hear that an independent (?) firm is investigating, and if they do their work they may be contacting you. If you want this to be more private, you are welcome to email me.
Thank you. They have engaged The Center Consulting Group and I think the leaders of the church are already aware of my claims against them as I have posted on my Twitter and I still have several leaders from there who still follow me. The wording of the many “press releases” also lead me to believe the board is now aware of my claims also. I think they lost their right to privacy when they committed spiritual abuse and leadership abuse and just plain power abuse. I am praying what God wants me to do, cause when usually something pops into my mind for no reason it is God prompting me…. I am questioning Him if this is His way of acting on my and others behalf or if He wants me to act further. My gut tells me the Sr Pastor is gone and they are trying to figure out how to deal with it without further damage to their church, but I could be wrong…. My email is conniegould12@gmail.com if you anything further to advise me on….
Hi Connie, I may already follow you on Twitter but if I don't, I would like to. My handke is @lindseycalv if you could follow me, I will follow back, or message me. I am a survivor and have found it healing to read others' stories and to share mine.
I don't think it is a coincidence that you were inspired to click on their website and learned about the investigation. I hope you have a new, safe community now. Even if it's just 2 or 3 people.
Thank you for reaching out. I truly believe the thought entering my head out of the thin air was God telling me to check their website. I have had enough of these God things to recognize it as Him. I think He wants to heal me and you and everyone else who has experienced any kind of abuse from a pastor or church and to separate that from Jesus, as that is not from Jesus. Father, will you heal everyone who has experienced church or pastor abuse, please, so we can burn our lights more brightly for You!
Amen, my sister! I wasn't abused in the church but there is a shared experience of betrayal among all survivors. I just recently learned that our bodies betrayed us. This is scientific, yet so familiar. I am just glad these authors and psychiatrists have named this reaction. I am writing a blog article about it. If you are on twitter, I'll share it there when I am done. Can you share your handle with me?
As a wounded resistor and former pastor, I appreciate this call to all of us toward compassion. So many have been left beaten by the side of the road while church staff walk by so busy on their way to mega church services.
"We are called to follow Jesus into care for survivors and to being survivor-sensitive communities of faith that provide safety and healing for survivors." Thank you!
That compassion should lead to action is true enough, but that it must lead to action assumes that appropriate action is available. Too many people take action to relieve their anxiety and do the wrong thing. Often, as my wife knows well (she has counseled a rather large number of abuse survivors as her book Pause, Pray and Play indicates), the only action one can appropriately take is empathic listening. One further note: the Samaritan was not just Temple taboo, but a religious and political enemy, not personally, but as part of a people. And that despite using basically the same Torah. He is the last person Jews would have expected a compassionate response from and the last to whom they would have showed such a response.
I see you. I hear you. You matter. I believe you. These words would have made a tremendous difference to me from my church. I believe many churches need training on how to show compassion. You are right, many do the wrong things that just bring further pain to survivors of abuse. As someone who was an active member of churches for over 20 years, I didn't understand what compassion really was until I desperately needed it. If we truly want to be the hands and feet of Jesus, we need to be willing to learn by listening to what those of us who have suffered are saying about what our needs are, rather than trying to prescribe what we think they need.
Thank you