One of the expressions being used in church conversations today is “spiritual” abuse, which is a species of power abuse. It’s real. There are not only problems with definition and foundations but some are in fact disputing the viability of spiritual abuse entirely. That position of thinking “spiritual” abuse is a faulty category will eventually be defeated. In the process of some criticism, however, light is being shed on defining spiritual abuse.
I often get asked to define spiritual abuse and give an example of how I was spiritually abused by Andy Wood, including in a phone call today by an AP News reporter doing a story on him becoming the lead pastor at Saddleback. I wish I had read this newsletter article before I spoke to the reporter. It would have given me a fuller answer. I did quote Dr. Wade Mullen, whom I just interviewed earlier today for my podcast. He includes “using humans as objects” in his definition of spiritual abuse. When we use image bearers wrongly, we deeply damage their humanity, and when we do so in a spiritual environment with spiritual power wielded over another, it is deeply abusive. Woe to shepherds who didn’t care for the flock and fed off the sheep instead. The last time I ever spoke to Andy Wood, I read him Ezekiel 34: 1-3. It’s a warning we must heed. Spiritual abuse, as Dr. Diane Langberg says, is an oxymoron. Those two words should never have to go together.
Thank you so much for commenting on this resource from Amy White, I purchased it right away. Even just this week I read two articles at Mere Orthodoxy pushing back against against works like yours and Laura’s, Chuck DeGroat, etc. I agree that Scripture should be central in understanding spiritual abuse, but I also believe psychological concepts can help us see and clarify passages like Ezekiel 34, just like the precision of philosophical concepts aided the development of trinitarian doctrine. I’ve been thinking a lot about the definition from Bob Hamp of Think Differently Academy that the core dynamic of abuse is “the inappropriate assignment of responsibility”. The abuser uses the abused to get what is actually his responsible to provide/obtain/do. “Instead of a relationship marked by nurture, care and service, the shepherd views sheep as property to be exploited for personal gain” (Amy White p. 22). I recently tried using this lens to explore John 9-10 (which might have Ez. 34 in the background?): https://onceaweek.substack.com/p/the-dynamic-of-spiritual-abuse. Leadership becomes abusive when roles are reversed and the sheep are made to serve the leaders, whether that be by feeding egos, feeding sexual drives, feeding pride and need for control, etc.
I suffered spiritual abuse by a traditional priest. He is a psychopath who exploited me by working me to the point of physical exhaustion and controlled every waking minute of my day. He is currently turning my adult children against me because I reported a crime he committed. His authority did nothing. God will judge him one day.
Thanks for including the Ezek 34 passage. In reading it I realized that sheep are generally unable to judge the competency of their shepherds. Ir's the shepherds who lead or mislead the sheep. The same is true in Christian circles. Sometimes the only redemption lies in a change of shepherds. But there's the rub: shepherds are usually so sure they are right, that only their removal will give sheep room to follow a different shepherd. The whole church-thing is about under-shepherds who have the power/authority to take the sheep wherever they wish. That turns out to be fairly easy because godly sheep want to obey whatever the shepherds tell them.
Thank you for this post and for your question. Here is what I notice in Ezekiel 34 that is indicative of abuse (and it’s a lot!):
1. Ez. 34:1-4: The shepherds do the opposite of what they are called to; they betray their calling. They defy their Lord. They also lack compassion; their behavior is harsh and brutal. (Abusive shepherds are usually very strict about how they think the sheep should behave, and they require subordination, yet they themselves are insubordinate to their own calling.) They are selfish.
2. Vv. 5-6: Abuse causes scattering. Rather than drawing the true sheep in, abuse and neglect cause them to wander or run away. (The ones that are drawn in, are held by false hopes and promises, or by worldly benefits, not spiritual ones.)
Similarly, v. 21: Spiritual abuse is rude. It is an abuse of power. It shoves the weak aside and drives them away.
3. Vv. 7-10: Spiritual abusers will talk about the dangers of hell, with certain sins or sinners in mind, but will be completely blind to, or in denial of, the judgment they themselves have coming.
4. Vv. 18-29: Spiritual abusers have no regard for things or people (God’s creation), other than what they can get from them. They don’t value Scripture except for how they can manipulate it, and people with it, to meet their own ends. Abusers hoard for themselves, or destroy, what God provides for all. They take more than their fair share. They hold people in physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bondage.
Spiritual abuse exploits and plunders. It leaves wreckage in its wake. It is unsafe, it destroys peace, it causes insecurity, and it causes people to fear.
This reminds me of the passage where Jesus tells the scribes and Pharisees that they don’t go in themselves to the kingdom, and they prevent others from going in as well. And I think this is what James has in mind when he warns that not many should teach, because they’ll be held to a higher standard. It’s clear that God very much does not want humans to objectify other humans. This ties directly into celebrity culture both because the celebrity is being objectified by the admirers, and because it’s very difficult to avoid being corrupted by that kind of power over others.
I often get asked to define spiritual abuse and give an example of how I was spiritually abused by Andy Wood, including in a phone call today by an AP News reporter doing a story on him becoming the lead pastor at Saddleback. I wish I had read this newsletter article before I spoke to the reporter. It would have given me a fuller answer. I did quote Dr. Wade Mullen, whom I just interviewed earlier today for my podcast. He includes “using humans as objects” in his definition of spiritual abuse. When we use image bearers wrongly, we deeply damage their humanity, and when we do so in a spiritual environment with spiritual power wielded over another, it is deeply abusive. Woe to shepherds who didn’t care for the flock and fed off the sheep instead. The last time I ever spoke to Andy Wood, I read him Ezekiel 34: 1-3. It’s a warning we must heed. Spiritual abuse, as Dr. Diane Langberg says, is an oxymoron. Those two words should never have to go together.
Thank you so much for commenting on this resource from Amy White, I purchased it right away. Even just this week I read two articles at Mere Orthodoxy pushing back against against works like yours and Laura’s, Chuck DeGroat, etc. I agree that Scripture should be central in understanding spiritual abuse, but I also believe psychological concepts can help us see and clarify passages like Ezekiel 34, just like the precision of philosophical concepts aided the development of trinitarian doctrine. I’ve been thinking a lot about the definition from Bob Hamp of Think Differently Academy that the core dynamic of abuse is “the inappropriate assignment of responsibility”. The abuser uses the abused to get what is actually his responsible to provide/obtain/do. “Instead of a relationship marked by nurture, care and service, the shepherd views sheep as property to be exploited for personal gain” (Amy White p. 22). I recently tried using this lens to explore John 9-10 (which might have Ez. 34 in the background?): https://onceaweek.substack.com/p/the-dynamic-of-spiritual-abuse. Leadership becomes abusive when roles are reversed and the sheep are made to serve the leaders, whether that be by feeding egos, feeding sexual drives, feeding pride and need for control, etc.
I suffered spiritual abuse by a traditional priest. He is a psychopath who exploited me by working me to the point of physical exhaustion and controlled every waking minute of my day. He is currently turning my adult children against me because I reported a crime he committed. His authority did nothing. God will judge him one day.
I'm so sorry to hear this, and I pray for healing for you and your children.
Thanks for including the Ezek 34 passage. In reading it I realized that sheep are generally unable to judge the competency of their shepherds. Ir's the shepherds who lead or mislead the sheep. The same is true in Christian circles. Sometimes the only redemption lies in a change of shepherds. But there's the rub: shepherds are usually so sure they are right, that only their removal will give sheep room to follow a different shepherd. The whole church-thing is about under-shepherds who have the power/authority to take the sheep wherever they wish. That turns out to be fairly easy because godly sheep want to obey whatever the shepherds tell them.
Thank you for this post and for your question. Here is what I notice in Ezekiel 34 that is indicative of abuse (and it’s a lot!):
1. Ez. 34:1-4: The shepherds do the opposite of what they are called to; they betray their calling. They defy their Lord. They also lack compassion; their behavior is harsh and brutal. (Abusive shepherds are usually very strict about how they think the sheep should behave, and they require subordination, yet they themselves are insubordinate to their own calling.) They are selfish.
2. Vv. 5-6: Abuse causes scattering. Rather than drawing the true sheep in, abuse and neglect cause them to wander or run away. (The ones that are drawn in, are held by false hopes and promises, or by worldly benefits, not spiritual ones.)
Similarly, v. 21: Spiritual abuse is rude. It is an abuse of power. It shoves the weak aside and drives them away.
3. Vv. 7-10: Spiritual abusers will talk about the dangers of hell, with certain sins or sinners in mind, but will be completely blind to, or in denial of, the judgment they themselves have coming.
4. Vv. 18-29: Spiritual abusers have no regard for things or people (God’s creation), other than what they can get from them. They don’t value Scripture except for how they can manipulate it, and people with it, to meet their own ends. Abusers hoard for themselves, or destroy, what God provides for all. They take more than their fair share. They hold people in physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bondage.
Spiritual abuse exploits and plunders. It leaves wreckage in its wake. It is unsafe, it destroys peace, it causes insecurity, and it causes people to fear.
Thank you Bonnie.
This reminds me of the passage where Jesus tells the scribes and Pharisees that they don’t go in themselves to the kingdom, and they prevent others from going in as well. And I think this is what James has in mind when he warns that not many should teach, because they’ll be held to a higher standard. It’s clear that God very much does not want humans to objectify other humans. This ties directly into celebrity culture both because the celebrity is being objectified by the admirers, and because it’s very difficult to avoid being corrupted by that kind of power over others.
I second your suggestion about the Grove Books. I mentioned this to Ian Paul a few weeks ago. Hopefully it will happen.