I have a question for you today. Make that more than one question: Are you seeing the average of nine hours per day on the phone? What are the symptoms you are seeing? What are the rules/policies for your children? What are your rules/policies for yourself?
I am thankful that, as a parent of two Generations Zers, the fullness of the author's doom filled description of this generation's phone fed woes has not been our experience. While I do see clear hints of these issues with my teens and their peers, the data suggests that for most Gen. Zers, it is quite a desperate situation in need of desperate measures. This would seem a place where the church in America could lead our culture, but too often there is little difference in the church or out. I am thankful for people like Andy Crouch who is writing insightfully about these issues. Just finished his book, The Techwise Family, and would recommend it to any parent as a clear -eyed vision for a different kind of life and future with our children.
The parents abandoned their kids as infants! Babies and children learn from those older. If you ignore them, they will ignore you. People don't like their kids! Or being a parent. So what's the confusion? Give up the greed and "jobs" if you want relationships.
I think there is a cognitive dissonance. The American myth is that hard work and self-reliance are the keys to success. It worked for the early boomer generation, mostly because WWII destroyed pretty much all of the world's industrial capacity, except for the US. So, it was uniquely true for that generation. However, that mantra is still built into our societal structure. My kids are being taught that hard work = success by their teachers who are making half a living salary for our area, and undoubtedly work hard. They were taught a form of self-reliant legalism in our former church. But, what they see over and over on social media is hard-working people who can't afford to rent, marry or raise kids being told they're "lazy" and to "try harder" by the older generations.
My kids are now in their early to mid twenties, the first generation of kids to be raised with iPhones, social media, etc. We learned a number of lessons, some of them the hard way.
At first, the devices were primarily about video games and occasional texting. The advent of social media apps radically changed everything.
Curtailing usage as much as we could as parents was extremely difficult. Social interaction changed such that if my kids didn't engage on devices at some level, they wouldn't be included in the social circles within their schools and friend groups. Likewise, schools in our area, in an effort to embrace technology, quickly made device usage mandatory for all manner of class work, which just poured fuel on the fire. So yes, even when curtailing their usage, I did observe my kids spending hours on their devices. And we did observe their friends were wholesale addicted spending much of the day glued to their screens.
We had some very clear rules about which apps were allowed and which weren't, which activities were allowed and which weren't, when devices could be used and when not. We had rules that devices would not follow them into their rooms, both for accountability and especially when they needed to be sleeping. Necessary as all those rules were, I still see them as a bandaid on an amputation wound when viewing the effects of digitized social lives and social media.
Since devices became an increasing part of their social, academic, and professional lives, we've noticed drastically declining mental health, to the point where my two younger children were diagnosed with anxiety and depression and for a time needed medication interventions. It was only at this point that they began to truly listen to us in managing their time and behaviour on devices. The number of their friends who have similar experiences is reflective of the shocking mental health statistics for our region.
While I see the positive utility that technology can have, I also see the damage it can do, especially with apps that are purposefully designed to increase and encourage (addictive) usage. This has nothing to say of the public conversation around focused messaging tech companies curate and influence if not indoctrinate their users.
My 30 something daughter is expecting their first child. They have already decided that they will be limiting technology for their child from the beginning. As a teacher she sees kids every day and she didn’t grow up with much technology herself.
This sounds like the practical side of what Charles Taylor says is happening to the self in postmodern society with meta-narrative. Without hope. We have to come up with whatever story we can to make things work. And Gen Z is feeling the dissatisfaction the most.
I am thankful that, as a parent of two Generations Zers, the fullness of the author's doom filled description of this generation's phone fed woes has not been our experience. While I do see clear hints of these issues with my teens and their peers, the data suggests that for most Gen. Zers, it is quite a desperate situation in need of desperate measures. This would seem a place where the church in America could lead our culture, but too often there is little difference in the church or out. I am thankful for people like Andy Crouch who is writing insightfully about these issues. Just finished his book, The Techwise Family, and would recommend it to any parent as a clear -eyed vision for a different kind of life and future with our children.
The parents abandoned their kids as infants! Babies and children learn from those older. If you ignore them, they will ignore you. People don't like their kids! Or being a parent. So what's the confusion? Give up the greed and "jobs" if you want relationships.
Read Allan Schore, Dan Siegel and Bruce Perry.
I think there is a cognitive dissonance. The American myth is that hard work and self-reliance are the keys to success. It worked for the early boomer generation, mostly because WWII destroyed pretty much all of the world's industrial capacity, except for the US. So, it was uniquely true for that generation. However, that mantra is still built into our societal structure. My kids are being taught that hard work = success by their teachers who are making half a living salary for our area, and undoubtedly work hard. They were taught a form of self-reliant legalism in our former church. But, what they see over and over on social media is hard-working people who can't afford to rent, marry or raise kids being told they're "lazy" and to "try harder" by the older generations.
My kids are now in their early to mid twenties, the first generation of kids to be raised with iPhones, social media, etc. We learned a number of lessons, some of them the hard way.
At first, the devices were primarily about video games and occasional texting. The advent of social media apps radically changed everything.
Curtailing usage as much as we could as parents was extremely difficult. Social interaction changed such that if my kids didn't engage on devices at some level, they wouldn't be included in the social circles within their schools and friend groups. Likewise, schools in our area, in an effort to embrace technology, quickly made device usage mandatory for all manner of class work, which just poured fuel on the fire. So yes, even when curtailing their usage, I did observe my kids spending hours on their devices. And we did observe their friends were wholesale addicted spending much of the day glued to their screens.
We had some very clear rules about which apps were allowed and which weren't, which activities were allowed and which weren't, when devices could be used and when not. We had rules that devices would not follow them into their rooms, both for accountability and especially when they needed to be sleeping. Necessary as all those rules were, I still see them as a bandaid on an amputation wound when viewing the effects of digitized social lives and social media.
Since devices became an increasing part of their social, academic, and professional lives, we've noticed drastically declining mental health, to the point where my two younger children were diagnosed with anxiety and depression and for a time needed medication interventions. It was only at this point that they began to truly listen to us in managing their time and behaviour on devices. The number of their friends who have similar experiences is reflective of the shocking mental health statistics for our region.
While I see the positive utility that technology can have, I also see the damage it can do, especially with apps that are purposefully designed to increase and encourage (addictive) usage. This has nothing to say of the public conversation around focused messaging tech companies curate and influence if not indoctrinate their users.
My 30 something daughter is expecting their first child. They have already decided that they will be limiting technology for their child from the beginning. As a teacher she sees kids every day and she didn’t grow up with much technology herself.
This sounds like the practical side of what Charles Taylor says is happening to the self in postmodern society with meta-narrative. Without hope. We have to come up with whatever story we can to make things work. And Gen Z is feeling the dissatisfaction the most.
Interesting