Trauma in the Body

Warning: this topic can be traumatizing and re-traumatizing. I will be guarding the Comments today more carefully than normal because of the sensitivity of this topic. And, because I’m not a therapist, a psychologist, or a specialist in the field of trauma, I will be guarding the Comments vigilantly. Be kind. Be sensitive. Be respectful. Don’t go where you are not welcome. If you make a comment about a traumatic experience, please begin with TRIGGER WARNING.

Those who have been traumatized, physically or religiously, often carry their trauma in their body. As a result, healing takes place in the body because both trauma and healing involved embodiment. We are looking again at a wonderful new book, Laura Anderson's When Religion Hurts You: Healing from Religious Trauma and the Impact of High-Control Religion.

She writes,

“Hating my body was a natural extension of this. Purity culture taught me that my body was evil because of the temptation it posed to men, while fundamentalism taught me that my body was evil because I was born totally depraved.” She continues, “This often meant that I needed to override queues for being hungry or full, ignore the way I felt, and scrutinized the way I walked, stood, and moved my body so as not to cause others to stumble into sin.”

In high control religions, “When we repeatedly hear negative messages about our own or others’ bodies, (1) we internalize these beliefs in our bodies … so much that (2) we act the roles we are given.” Let’s not ignore either of the elements of what she writes here, and so I gave them numbers.

She writes, “one of the most effective ways an HCR can gain control over people is by creating a narrative around the body that promotes shame, sinfulness, and an external locus of control, meaning that a person cannot trust themselves or their body.” This forms into a “foundation of distrust.” Many dissociate from their body. Such leads to disembodiment, which means “becoming embodied is not only essential for trauma resolution and recovery but also a direct act of defiance against the religious power and control that was wielded against them.” Acting out, which is often understood as rebellion, at times manifests a healthy defiance against HCRs.

What for many takes on either a freshness and helpfulness, or a weirdness, is for the traumatized person to become far more acquainted with his or her body. Many, she contends, are unacquainted with the body. Whether it is through dissociation or stifling or even numbness, HCRs frequently lead people into a life of disembodiment.

The cognitive messages about the body often live in the body. People need to begin the healing process by saying two, if not more, things to themselves:

“This is my body”

“I love my body.”

She writes, as one who has worked hard to acquaint herself with her body, “Healing from trauma is about giving your body a different experience than what it has been allowed to have during a real or perceived threat.”

So what is embodiment?

“Embodiment is a daily, moment by moment practice that is both grueling and rewarding. Embodiment does not guarantee positive or pleasant experiences all the time – instead it means that you feel everything, you live everything, and you move through everything.” It is about “the experience of living as a body while engaging with the world.” It is both personal and corporate, individual and social. Experiencing life in the body is a way of knowing through embodiment. Hence, “Moving from having a body to being a body is an important part of embodiment and healing.”

“I am my body.” Some people learn this by giving their body a personal pronoun. Instead of an “it” the body becomes a “she” or a “he.” Her journal-like writing includes,

“My body was told for so long how sinful and disgusting she was and how I needed to, essentially, kill her off that maybe she just began to believe it. But now, I hate the evidence of the trauma; I do not hate my body. I hate the evidence of the trauma on my body. My weight gain has been the result of trauma after trauma after trauma with no treatment, just stuffing down my feelings as hard as I could and then trying to kill them off.

Now, I must trust this process: that my body intuitively knows how to heal. My responsibility is to create the space and safety to allow her to express and trust her to do what she already knows how to do.”

Backing up, Anderson turns to introjection. That is, “the unconscious adoption of the ideas or attitudes of others.” She is quoting from Google Dictionary. Anderson: “I understand introjection is the process that happens when we are told by others how to think, feel, or experience and then internalize these messages so that we believe they are coming from within us.” She turns back to neuroscience to explain introjection.

Here's the big one: “We cannot think trauma away; this is why embodiment and having a loving relationship with your body is so important for trauma resolution. We need our bodies to be on board, and we need to feel safe enough in our bodies to be able to give them a new experience.”

She finishes the chp with “Loving my body lets me love your body: the human in me sees the human in you, and that changes the world.”

Amen.