Who’s Leaving the Church the Most? Single evangelical women, according to the sources used by Katie Gaddini, book, The Struggle to Stay: Why Single Evangelical Women are Leaving the Church (Columbia UP, 2022). Single evangelical women are leaving the white church more than any demographic.
I served as a Navy Chaplain for 21 years and always tried to attend a Church similar to mine wherever I was stationed. Unfortunately, as I introduced myself, and they found out I was a Chaplain and therefore ordained, even though I was as evangelical as they were, I often heard comments such as , “Nice to have you here, I’m sure you will find another church where you will feel comfortable.” Simply put, they did not want me even attending.
Much of it could be down to the definition - 'single evangelical women' - women are seen as 'single' first (i.e. status) rather than women (i.e. people and individuals/part of a community). Being constantly assessed just by your socio-economic status doesn't help!
The thing that gets me is the denial that happens in these churches. There is an abusive pastor and after exposure everyone’s line is they didn’t know. No, they knew, they just failed to act upon their knowledge as they were afraid the effect it would have on themselves, the church or the abusive pastor. Single women are the most vulnerable and the most unprotected in the one place they should be safe, in my opinion. It is no wonder they are leaving in droves.
Rick, I’m not sure what you are implying. My single daughter spent several years at a church volunteering as a regular member of the band, looking for a place to belong and serve. I found out later that she was desperately lonely. After church and rehearsal people left for their homes: she was never invited in to peoples lives and longed for fellowship and belonging.
Additionally, as a part of a singles class, she was preached at with admonitions of purity. She heard this: “be pure”. Good message. But why isn’t the church hearing “love one another” over lunch today, “bear one another’s burdens” Wednesday after rehearsal, or “why have we ceased gathering together regularly for fellowship” as Paul admonished?
The heart of the gospel is surely Jesus died for you, but Jesus longed to be with His disciples and promised “I will be with you.” Singles especially need to experience that now, in addition to appropriate ways to lead and serve.
Hi Michael. We are designed for connection and belonging. I know this loneliness you write about. I did not understand it at all. But it was intensely painful. INTENSELY. I'm 75 this year and I would say I didn't understand the need for belonging until I was 73 1/2. Then the light buld went on. IF "the church" doesn't understand basic human design, the building will be emptied. It is too painful to stay. The message isn't what Jesus teaches. The Gospel is about RELATING well with God AND people.
I think I would say the message is Jesus and God’s kingdom, forgiveness and reconciliation. But the context of his message is His church, the first installment of the coming kingdom. “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35. Bless you Ginger.
Of course I'm echoing the thought. Ultimately though you go first to church to meet with God and to worship. This is important when the churches you find are far from where they need to be
Perhaps someone else should speak to this also. But thIs blog is about “Tov”. It speaks to the Church that Jesus came to establish and what God expects of it. The good news came imbedded in the Church of which Peter became the rock, established by and through Jesus. We gather AS the Church, God’s people, not simply in a building called a “church”.
When we forget the reality of that body, and forget the responsibility to one another, don’t we forsake the bride of Christ? That is my understanding of what is being discussed.
Of course but you can't do that on your own nor should you give up in the kingdom just because the body is unhealthy at any rate the church is a place for sinners seeking Rest it's a hospital
Church plants being planted by women… I’m seeing a trend in ours at least. We would have more women than men attending - and single women, at that.
I served as a Navy Chaplain for 21 years and always tried to attend a Church similar to mine wherever I was stationed. Unfortunately, as I introduced myself, and they found out I was a Chaplain and therefore ordained, even though I was as evangelical as they were, I often heard comments such as , “Nice to have you here, I’m sure you will find another church where you will feel comfortable.” Simply put, they did not want me even attending.
This article was just sent to me in response to an article I wrote for CEB's Mutuality (https://www.cbeinternational.org/resource/article/mutuality-blog-magazine/deer-longs-flowing-streams-single-women-long-be-included) ... the response I got from sharing my story entirely confirms this, and broke my heart
Perhaps these women are looking for affirmation in the wrong place.
Comments like these:
" Oh, you're single? We need to find you a man!"
" The greatest false teaching in the church today is that women can teach, preach, and lead the church."
Much of it could be down to the definition - 'single evangelical women' - women are seen as 'single' first (i.e. status) rather than women (i.e. people and individuals/part of a community). Being constantly assessed just by your socio-economic status doesn't help!
I've been married 50 years and attend church alone. I'm ALWAYS viewed as a single woman at church. There is definitely a double standard.
What is tov?
The thing that gets me is the denial that happens in these churches. There is an abusive pastor and after exposure everyone’s line is they didn’t know. No, they knew, they just failed to act upon their knowledge as they were afraid the effect it would have on themselves, the church or the abusive pastor. Single women are the most vulnerable and the most unprotected in the one place they should be safe, in my opinion. It is no wonder they are leaving in droves.
Luke 17:10 we are unworthy servants we have only done our duty.
We need to stop preaching a gospel of self actualisation
Rick, I’m not sure what you are implying. My single daughter spent several years at a church volunteering as a regular member of the band, looking for a place to belong and serve. I found out later that she was desperately lonely. After church and rehearsal people left for their homes: she was never invited in to peoples lives and longed for fellowship and belonging.
Additionally, as a part of a singles class, she was preached at with admonitions of purity. She heard this: “be pure”. Good message. But why isn’t the church hearing “love one another” over lunch today, “bear one another’s burdens” Wednesday after rehearsal, or “why have we ceased gathering together regularly for fellowship” as Paul admonished?
The heart of the gospel is surely Jesus died for you, but Jesus longed to be with His disciples and promised “I will be with you.” Singles especially need to experience that now, in addition to appropriate ways to lead and serve.
Hi Michael. We are designed for connection and belonging. I know this loneliness you write about. I did not understand it at all. But it was intensely painful. INTENSELY. I'm 75 this year and I would say I didn't understand the need for belonging until I was 73 1/2. Then the light buld went on. IF "the church" doesn't understand basic human design, the building will be emptied. It is too painful to stay. The message isn't what Jesus teaches. The Gospel is about RELATING well with God AND people.
I think I would say the message is Jesus and God’s kingdom, forgiveness and reconciliation. But the context of his message is His church, the first installment of the coming kingdom. “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35. Bless you Ginger.
Of course I'm echoing the thought. Ultimately though you go first to church to meet with God and to worship. This is important when the churches you find are far from where they need to be
Perhaps someone else should speak to this also. But thIs blog is about “Tov”. It speaks to the Church that Jesus came to establish and what God expects of it. The good news came imbedded in the Church of which Peter became the rock, established by and through Jesus. We gather AS the Church, God’s people, not simply in a building called a “church”.
When we forget the reality of that body, and forget the responsibility to one another, don’t we forsake the bride of Christ? That is my understanding of what is being discussed.
Of course but you can't do that on your own nor should you give up in the kingdom just because the body is unhealthy at any rate the church is a place for sinners seeking Rest it's a hospital
Its full of people finding faith losing faith and everywhere in between
What do u do when the churches are full of property gospel teaching or just teaching the gospel of psycho babble?