Four intelligent women, followed closely, shape the contours and substance of Katie Gaddini’s important book, The Struggle to Stay: Why Single Evangelical Women are Leaving the Church (Columbia UP, 2022). The subtitle announces the theme. The book is filled with insight, story, and potential value for anyone ministering in a church or teaching in a seminary!
What are the best indicators that the promise will not be met? I've had decades of experience with this in the past and it's possible that the situation today has been somewhat eased. But perhaps not. For me a first indicator is the warm patronizing look accompanied by complements to the woman about her womanhood. I know that look: it says, "You are such a lovely woman and you honor your (sub-) position in the church so well, we are so pleased to have you on board as a model of godliness for our women." There is no mention of tasks or positions. It's all about how much a woman graces the church AS A WOMAN. That's often the first indicator. A secondary indicator is the assignment of some task that "suits a woman's womanhood." And in my experience (!) it usually means overlooking inviting the woman to an unscheduled meeting so that the men meet and later apologize when the woman hears about the meeting and protests the fact that she was not invited. It's all usually so "nice" that it's hard to bite into it. I could go on, but this is probably enough for now.
Best indicators I have seen: We have to study it more... Getting bogged down in certain passages… Arriving at no conclusion… Conclusion: we better stay in liminal space, it’s less disruptive than to afford equality of leadership to women! Let’s meet with the women and see how they feel. Let’s also meet with the men lest they feel slighted to see how they feel. Then do nothing thinking understanding how others feel solves anything. And a last indicator: We will follow the theology we grew up in refusing to get curious and do serious theology as a church. We’re afraid of our own theologizing. Let’s let others do it for us. We trust them but we can’t trust the Holy Spirit guiding us. Rant over.
Best indicators? When you ask about leadership, you're given a nod and a "we should talk about that sometime," but sometime never happens. Men get meetings--we get "sometime." When there are multiple "guys nights" or trips, and women can't come because no one will ride in the car with us. When men are given leadership because they have so much potential or charisma, and women are asked what they've done to prove their ability.
Flying people - anyone, male or female - to Napa for a wine weekend, for whatever reason? That would be the signal for me to leave, period. No church ought to be doing that in the face of the amount of hunger in this country. That's outrageous.
I'm very sympathetic however the call of Christ is to follow him not to be in church leadership, as a Christian man in the UK I have all types of issues with the church but I know the church is as hospital for sinners not those who know they are perfect. Stand sisters
What are the best indicators that the promise will not be met? I've had decades of experience with this in the past and it's possible that the situation today has been somewhat eased. But perhaps not. For me a first indicator is the warm patronizing look accompanied by complements to the woman about her womanhood. I know that look: it says, "You are such a lovely woman and you honor your (sub-) position in the church so well, we are so pleased to have you on board as a model of godliness for our women." There is no mention of tasks or positions. It's all about how much a woman graces the church AS A WOMAN. That's often the first indicator. A secondary indicator is the assignment of some task that "suits a woman's womanhood." And in my experience (!) it usually means overlooking inviting the woman to an unscheduled meeting so that the men meet and later apologize when the woman hears about the meeting and protests the fact that she was not invited. It's all usually so "nice" that it's hard to bite into it. I could go on, but this is probably enough for now.
Best indicators I have seen: We have to study it more... Getting bogged down in certain passages… Arriving at no conclusion… Conclusion: we better stay in liminal space, it’s less disruptive than to afford equality of leadership to women! Let’s meet with the women and see how they feel. Let’s also meet with the men lest they feel slighted to see how they feel. Then do nothing thinking understanding how others feel solves anything. And a last indicator: We will follow the theology we grew up in refusing to get curious and do serious theology as a church. We’re afraid of our own theologizing. Let’s let others do it for us. We trust them but we can’t trust the Holy Spirit guiding us. Rant over.
Best indicators? When you ask about leadership, you're given a nod and a "we should talk about that sometime," but sometime never happens. Men get meetings--we get "sometime." When there are multiple "guys nights" or trips, and women can't come because no one will ride in the car with us. When men are given leadership because they have so much potential or charisma, and women are asked what they've done to prove their ability.
Flying people - anyone, male or female - to Napa for a wine weekend, for whatever reason? That would be the signal for me to leave, period. No church ought to be doing that in the face of the amount of hunger in this country. That's outrageous.
Dana
I'm very sympathetic however the call of Christ is to follow him not to be in church leadership, as a Christian man in the UK I have all types of issues with the church but I know the church is as hospital for sinners not those who know they are perfect. Stand sisters