Some people have the energy of a dozen bodies, never seem to tire, never seem to in need of getting away for more than a week or two, never need an extended retreat or a sabbatical.
What I think is so interesting about the journal entry at the end of the post today, is that he is dogmatic and there seems to be little, if any, doubt in what he's saying; small is better than big. While Eugene struggled with aspects of pastoring, he appears certain about church size. I also think about how unpopular those statements were during the time he was a pastor, especially the later years, as churches grew bigger and bigger. It also makes me think about how a pastor functions much differently in a big church versus a small church. The pastor of a big church has to be much more focused on sermon delivery and the pastor of a small church has to be much more relational. It seems like it's pretty clear what church attendees have come to desire in America (although I think things might be shifting a little bit.)
Concerning rest, I don't work for a church, but I do work in HR and think about the way we work quite a bit. Rest is not something we seem to value, but it's essential to our work. It's a difficult and complex conversation to have when productivity is valued so much more than rest and recovery. I think we draw a lot of our worth as humans by how much work we can put out into the world, and the effects of that kind of thinking eventually wear us down.
I like what you've said about productivity. Our world applauds it. We have learned that we are actually more productive when we add rest and refreshment moments in our lives.
I resonate with this so very much. On multiple levels. I pastor an extremely small church working among the poor and homeless. It is a great challenge on many levels. We have major financial challenges. It struggles to be self-sustaining. The work is hard and. Halle going for families used to middle-class churches - not ones where homeless strangers, sometimes high or hungover, walk in Sunday’s to our rented assembly hall. During Covid my pay was down a huge amount. But somehow we are still surviving through gifts of friends. I’ve never had a sabbatical in 30+ years of ministry and doubt I will have a retirement. I have felt that desire to stop pastoring many times - but then what? What is interesting about Peterson’s comment is that just two days ago I spent 3 hours counseling a young man who said he could not go to a mega church here in town because he can’t imagine just watching a pastor on a big screen and with whom he will never interact. “I am actually sitting here talking to the pastor for an entire morning! And I can do this on a pretty regular basis. This would never happen in one of these larger churches.” Out church, small as it is, has touched many lives among the homeless and impoverished in our community - even in our own poverty - not through large $$ poured into grand services offered; but through personal interaction with people. It really is about that. But it is very difficult to sustain, financially and emotionally.
I have worked in a similar context for 14 years - so I have some level of understanding. Having a break (even from preaching on a Sunday), can be very difficult to organise and sabbaticals are an unrealised dream. Yet as you acknowledge, there are blessings and a real need for local churches in these contexts. I pray that you will find spaces for emotional recharging and rest.
Years ago Jean Fleming wrote a book that InterVarsity Press published called, "Between Walden and the Whirlwind." It was an emotional read for me because I was fatigued and in the "whirlwind". In addition, Swenson's book, "Margin" looked at patterns of rest as a spiritual act. I could hear the fatigue in Eugene Peterson because I've been there. I think most people have. I liked the board's response to his request. Permission giving. So I wonder what others think related to your statement, "Sabbaticals, friends, don’t prepare most people to return. They prepare more of us to retire. It feels like the kingdom of God at times!" In Eugene's life, it was how God was moving. In my own life, I've had to stop thinking in terms of "I can't wait til the end of my work day. I can't wait til my days off. I can't wait til my vacation." Instead I have learned to create more of a rhythm in the way God actually designed our Central and Autonomic Nervous Systems. The Sympathetic System draws in Stress and the Parasympathic Releases. My heart and prayers go to pastors whose roles at times demand so much this gets thrown off. We can be unknowingly work against the way He designed us when we only take in stress until we crash. I have been there, and don't wish to go back. Sure there are times that are more demanding than others. But in between those moments I intentionally do what releases: Breathe, stretch, move, rest, read and think, pray, get out in nature and take in beauty..... be still.
I have read “Burning In My Bones” thru the lense of a unofficial pastor. I build new homes (350 of them) the last 30 years. Spent several years at Multnomah School of the Bible in Pastoral track — starting Multnomah at age 25. Most my friends there wanted to pastor a church. Most of them didn’t last long at it. I was surprised when Eugene had not had a Sabbatical in several decades. As a Builder (Business Owner) since my Bible College days, I have sent several pastors on Sabbatical myself. Usually when they are in between jobs. I pay all expenses and debrief with them a few times. It’s been amazing to watch these Pastors and Counselors recenter themselves after months of uninterrupted time in God’s presence and rest. Peterson’s Publisher friend gives the example that Pastors need “Pastoring” themselves. I’m 58 now. I’ve been pastoring for 50 years, I just never knew it the first 20 years. The last 20 years I’ve been shocked at how few pastors have 1 or 2 people (Business people) tracking them and listening/watching their pastors for signs that they need a long break (rest) to reset. My Bible College friends call me the Pastor’s Pastor. That is what Peterson’s Publisher friend is. I’m sure Eugene is not the only one that guy took care of. (Interesting to follow up on that friend of Eugene’s). I’ve built nearly 20 homes for free thruout the early days of home building for Pastors and Missionaries to reduce financial strains on them so there is more rest and peace in their lives. Several of them took the huge financial gains I gave them and bought much bigger homes. They found themselves back in the very thing I was trying to eliminate in their lives. A large mortgage.
I started following Eugene’s teaching and books when he arrived at Regent College. One thing he clearly reestablished in my life was Sabbath. I grew up 7th Day Adventist and we kept the Sabbath big time. I abandoned that practice when I became a Conservative Baptist in my mid teen years. I got back to Sabbath with Eugene’s writings back in the early 1990’s.
I am beyond grateful to Winn Collier for seeking out Eugene and asking the hard questions. Winn gave all those items down in the crawl space the sniff test. Amazing. I wish more was said of Jan Peterson’s experience Re: that year long Sabbatical. Maybe Winn needs to write a follow up on Jan’s work. She contributed so much and clearly is a Pastor herself. — James Small, Portland OR. 20 year member at Imago Dei Community
One of the most powerful passages in the entire book, for me, is when Eugene is invited to speak at Whitworth while his sons both were there. He was growing in influence, yet struggling with his calling and the feeling of being an imposter. Such a man of depth and wisdom, yet his insecurities were brought to the surface speaking in front of his young adult sons like a child is nervous to give a speech in front of his kindergarten class.
"I wanted to do well and be well received for their sake - didn't want to embarrass them! But it went well - some said it was [the] best Forum in memory! - but I wish I could escape or grow out of my self-consciousness: anxious about whether I am doing a good job or not, and just be here in ministry." (p.176)
In the middle of this tension, Eugene is invited to socialize with a prominent speaker from the event. Instead he chooses to go out for nachos and beer with his two sons.
"They are the raw material of my life that I need to contemplate and be with and love and understand and respond to. ... And prayer."
My two year old son interrupted me as I was writing this, and and my older sons are getting ready for a day at Six Flags together. Like Eugene did, I too struggle to see them as the "raw material" of my life, and hence miss out on the rest and perspective on life found in loving them. Thank you for this discussion Scot, it is a reminder to be more present today.
Various tests over the years say that I am an extrovert. I do gain much energy from interacting with people. However, at 63, with decades of ministry behind me, I have found that intense times of people interaction make my desire for decompression time even greater. I still gain much from my times with people, but my desire to gain perspective in regular times of solitude is greater now than ever.
I had an opportunity to take a 3-month sabbatical in 2018, after 13 years in full-time pastoral ministry and 7 years at my current church. It was an amazing time of connecting with my family, one we will all hold on to for the rest of our lives. But you're right, Scot - and I never thought about it before - it prepared me for retirement! Only 20-plus years to go! :)
I resonate deeply with so much of Eugene's struggle in these chapters.
"I like Peterson." Me too. I am saddened I've avoided his work for so long due to what others have said about him. I am also reading his "The Contemplative Pastor" alongside this biography. I see many parallels between his writing and his pastoral life. Every time I come away with, "This is the pastor I want to be." Regarding sabbaticals: there is an increase of pastors being bi-vocational in our culture. Often sabbaticals are limited in time due to work requirements from the second job. Sabbaticals are less frequent and shorter. I believe we will see more of this in time. How can the Church help our shepherds in this culture going forward?
The quote about how a church shouldn’t be larger than 500 if we are to pastor it well reminds me of the Today show interview Savannah Gutherie recently had with the man who started Hillsong where she was questioning the systems of the church that led to the Carl Lentz situation and the uncovering of overworking volunteers, etc. in the aftermath. She asked him if a church could be too large, and he said, “no.” I guess is being pastoral is a secondary (or non-existent) goal to “reaching large numbers of people for Jesus,” caring for the sheep would not be a priority. Fascinating and thought-provoking to see this still be the conclusion after all this. Pastors and church planters need to all be doing some soul-searching in the aftermath of the Hillsong situation. Let’s look at the fruit, and an honest look at the fruit will point us to whether bigger is better.
What I think is so interesting about the journal entry at the end of the post today, is that he is dogmatic and there seems to be little, if any, doubt in what he's saying; small is better than big. While Eugene struggled with aspects of pastoring, he appears certain about church size. I also think about how unpopular those statements were during the time he was a pastor, especially the later years, as churches grew bigger and bigger. It also makes me think about how a pastor functions much differently in a big church versus a small church. The pastor of a big church has to be much more focused on sermon delivery and the pastor of a small church has to be much more relational. It seems like it's pretty clear what church attendees have come to desire in America (although I think things might be shifting a little bit.)
Concerning rest, I don't work for a church, but I do work in HR and think about the way we work quite a bit. Rest is not something we seem to value, but it's essential to our work. It's a difficult and complex conversation to have when productivity is valued so much more than rest and recovery. I think we draw a lot of our worth as humans by how much work we can put out into the world, and the effects of that kind of thinking eventually wear us down.
I like what you've said about productivity. Our world applauds it. We have learned that we are actually more productive when we add rest and refreshment moments in our lives.
I don't doubt that at all!
I resonate with this so very much. On multiple levels. I pastor an extremely small church working among the poor and homeless. It is a great challenge on many levels. We have major financial challenges. It struggles to be self-sustaining. The work is hard and. Halle going for families used to middle-class churches - not ones where homeless strangers, sometimes high or hungover, walk in Sunday’s to our rented assembly hall. During Covid my pay was down a huge amount. But somehow we are still surviving through gifts of friends. I’ve never had a sabbatical in 30+ years of ministry and doubt I will have a retirement. I have felt that desire to stop pastoring many times - but then what? What is interesting about Peterson’s comment is that just two days ago I spent 3 hours counseling a young man who said he could not go to a mega church here in town because he can’t imagine just watching a pastor on a big screen and with whom he will never interact. “I am actually sitting here talking to the pastor for an entire morning! And I can do this on a pretty regular basis. This would never happen in one of these larger churches.” Out church, small as it is, has touched many lives among the homeless and impoverished in our community - even in our own poverty - not through large $$ poured into grand services offered; but through personal interaction with people. It really is about that. But it is very difficult to sustain, financially and emotionally.
I have worked in a similar context for 14 years - so I have some level of understanding. Having a break (even from preaching on a Sunday), can be very difficult to organise and sabbaticals are an unrealised dream. Yet as you acknowledge, there are blessings and a real need for local churches in these contexts. I pray that you will find spaces for emotional recharging and rest.
"I pastor an extremely small church working among the poor and homeless." - You are blessed beyond measure. Thank you.
Years ago Jean Fleming wrote a book that InterVarsity Press published called, "Between Walden and the Whirlwind." It was an emotional read for me because I was fatigued and in the "whirlwind". In addition, Swenson's book, "Margin" looked at patterns of rest as a spiritual act. I could hear the fatigue in Eugene Peterson because I've been there. I think most people have. I liked the board's response to his request. Permission giving. So I wonder what others think related to your statement, "Sabbaticals, friends, don’t prepare most people to return. They prepare more of us to retire. It feels like the kingdom of God at times!" In Eugene's life, it was how God was moving. In my own life, I've had to stop thinking in terms of "I can't wait til the end of my work day. I can't wait til my days off. I can't wait til my vacation." Instead I have learned to create more of a rhythm in the way God actually designed our Central and Autonomic Nervous Systems. The Sympathetic System draws in Stress and the Parasympathic Releases. My heart and prayers go to pastors whose roles at times demand so much this gets thrown off. We can be unknowingly work against the way He designed us when we only take in stress until we crash. I have been there, and don't wish to go back. Sure there are times that are more demanding than others. But in between those moments I intentionally do what releases: Breathe, stretch, move, rest, read and think, pray, get out in nature and take in beauty..... be still.
My reading of this part of his life was that he seems to have realized he wanted to be more of a writer. He found his centered place.
He once said in a talk that every church should have a writer on staff. sort of like a writer laureate.
Yes! And haven't we benefited from that!
I forgot to mention, the church I attend does provide sabbatical months regularly for pastoral staff.
I have read “Burning In My Bones” thru the lense of a unofficial pastor. I build new homes (350 of them) the last 30 years. Spent several years at Multnomah School of the Bible in Pastoral track — starting Multnomah at age 25. Most my friends there wanted to pastor a church. Most of them didn’t last long at it. I was surprised when Eugene had not had a Sabbatical in several decades. As a Builder (Business Owner) since my Bible College days, I have sent several pastors on Sabbatical myself. Usually when they are in between jobs. I pay all expenses and debrief with them a few times. It’s been amazing to watch these Pastors and Counselors recenter themselves after months of uninterrupted time in God’s presence and rest. Peterson’s Publisher friend gives the example that Pastors need “Pastoring” themselves. I’m 58 now. I’ve been pastoring for 50 years, I just never knew it the first 20 years. The last 20 years I’ve been shocked at how few pastors have 1 or 2 people (Business people) tracking them and listening/watching their pastors for signs that they need a long break (rest) to reset. My Bible College friends call me the Pastor’s Pastor. That is what Peterson’s Publisher friend is. I’m sure Eugene is not the only one that guy took care of. (Interesting to follow up on that friend of Eugene’s). I’ve built nearly 20 homes for free thruout the early days of home building for Pastors and Missionaries to reduce financial strains on them so there is more rest and peace in their lives. Several of them took the huge financial gains I gave them and bought much bigger homes. They found themselves back in the very thing I was trying to eliminate in their lives. A large mortgage.
I started following Eugene’s teaching and books when he arrived at Regent College. One thing he clearly reestablished in my life was Sabbath. I grew up 7th Day Adventist and we kept the Sabbath big time. I abandoned that practice when I became a Conservative Baptist in my mid teen years. I got back to Sabbath with Eugene’s writings back in the early 1990’s.
I am beyond grateful to Winn Collier for seeking out Eugene and asking the hard questions. Winn gave all those items down in the crawl space the sniff test. Amazing. I wish more was said of Jan Peterson’s experience Re: that year long Sabbatical. Maybe Winn needs to write a follow up on Jan’s work. She contributed so much and clearly is a Pastor herself. — James Small, Portland OR. 20 year member at Imago Dei Community
One of the most powerful passages in the entire book, for me, is when Eugene is invited to speak at Whitworth while his sons both were there. He was growing in influence, yet struggling with his calling and the feeling of being an imposter. Such a man of depth and wisdom, yet his insecurities were brought to the surface speaking in front of his young adult sons like a child is nervous to give a speech in front of his kindergarten class.
"I wanted to do well and be well received for their sake - didn't want to embarrass them! But it went well - some said it was [the] best Forum in memory! - but I wish I could escape or grow out of my self-consciousness: anxious about whether I am doing a good job or not, and just be here in ministry." (p.176)
In the middle of this tension, Eugene is invited to socialize with a prominent speaker from the event. Instead he chooses to go out for nachos and beer with his two sons.
"They are the raw material of my life that I need to contemplate and be with and love and understand and respond to. ... And prayer."
My two year old son interrupted me as I was writing this, and and my older sons are getting ready for a day at Six Flags together. Like Eugene did, I too struggle to see them as the "raw material" of my life, and hence miss out on the rest and perspective on life found in loving them. Thank you for this discussion Scot, it is a reminder to be more present today.
Various tests over the years say that I am an extrovert. I do gain much energy from interacting with people. However, at 63, with decades of ministry behind me, I have found that intense times of people interaction make my desire for decompression time even greater. I still gain much from my times with people, but my desire to gain perspective in regular times of solitude is greater now than ever.
To his point, I've never heard a Eugene Peterson sermon, but the impact of his books is almost unavoidable.
I had an opportunity to take a 3-month sabbatical in 2018, after 13 years in full-time pastoral ministry and 7 years at my current church. It was an amazing time of connecting with my family, one we will all hold on to for the rest of our lives. But you're right, Scot - and I never thought about it before - it prepared me for retirement! Only 20-plus years to go! :)
I resonate deeply with so much of Eugene's struggle in these chapters.
"I like Peterson." Me too. I am saddened I've avoided his work for so long due to what others have said about him. I am also reading his "The Contemplative Pastor" alongside this biography. I see many parallels between his writing and his pastoral life. Every time I come away with, "This is the pastor I want to be." Regarding sabbaticals: there is an increase of pastors being bi-vocational in our culture. Often sabbaticals are limited in time due to work requirements from the second job. Sabbaticals are less frequent and shorter. I believe we will see more of this in time. How can the Church help our shepherds in this culture going forward?
Pay them a living wage for a change so there is no need to have a second job.
Not so easy my friend, as many churches are small and are unable to pay a "living wage", whatever that means.
The quote about how a church shouldn’t be larger than 500 if we are to pastor it well reminds me of the Today show interview Savannah Gutherie recently had with the man who started Hillsong where she was questioning the systems of the church that led to the Carl Lentz situation and the uncovering of overworking volunteers, etc. in the aftermath. She asked him if a church could be too large, and he said, “no.” I guess is being pastoral is a secondary (or non-existent) goal to “reaching large numbers of people for Jesus,” caring for the sheep would not be a priority. Fascinating and thought-provoking to see this still be the conclusion after all this. Pastors and church planters need to all be doing some soul-searching in the aftermath of the Hillsong situation. Let’s look at the fruit, and an honest look at the fruit will point us to whether bigger is better.